Community

Our sakurabloom group decided to do a monthly blogging challenge, which sounds awesome because I have an excuse and purpose to blog! The topic for May is "community". At first I thought I wouldn't really have anything to write about because I am the most introverted person ever. For a few years I was in a community group with my church but recently I switched churses and keep finding myself wanting to hide in my "shell"...aka my home. I personally don't like groups of people, they intimidate me. I am shy and weird around people! People will disagree a lot of the time when I say that, but I at least FEEL weird...I usually can't wait until I can get away from a group. 

I find that my community is online, I love love love the community from the sakurabloom group and my other Instagram mom friends. I love that I actually have things in common that I can talk about. A lot of my family values are the same as other mothers in the group. For example, I co sleep with my daughter who's 8 months. If I talk about co sleeping with most people, I know I will get negative or judgmental comments. It's like a breath of fresh air knowing I won't be judged for things like attachment parenting with my mom friends that's I've made these last several months.

I also love my tiny community with the few friends in person that I have. I have a super nice friend from my church that is so helpful and has the same values as me. When Paisley and I were sick she came over and held Paisley so I could shower the puke off of me...that's a friend!

I know that community is important for humans in general. There are so many good things about it! So I guess in a nutshell community for me is family time if that counts, Internet friends and single person interactions haha! It works for me :) what does community look like in your life? 

 

Protect your children!

So many children are being sexually abused right now at this very moment! I get furious when I think about it!!! I hate that I have friends and family who have been sexually abused, I hate that there are pedophiles searching the internet looking for children right now, I hate that their living in our neighborhoods, I hate that we walk among them without knowing it, I hate that I feel so helpless and all I want to do is save all of the kids! A 22 year old man in my state was just arrested for having over 200 photos and videos of children and infants being sexually abused on his computer! NOTHING makes me more angry that that kind of stuff!! Pedophiles are everywhere and parents need to wake up. It could be your pastor,  brother, neighbor, stranger, teacher, or even husband in some cases! There is a blog I subscribe to that EVERYONE needs to read and follow with her email subscription. She was married to a practicing pedophile for 40 years without knowing what he was doing. He is in jail now and she gives tips and stories from her past that should have been a red flag. We all need to protect our kids and trust our gut! Here is the blog: http://www.findingahealingplace.com

Courage

My story starts when I was about three years old. I can barely remember it, but one of my few memories was sitting on the couch in the living room, my parents were yelling at each other and I saw my mom kick my dad in the stomach. My next memory is her crying in the bathroom with the door locked and I was banging on the door screaming for her to let me in. Then I remember I was in the front yard, my mom was running with my younger brother down the street and I was crying for her to let me go with her as my dad held onto me by the sidewalk. The police came to my house and they handcuffed both of my parents, loaded us up and took us away to a foster home. I wasn't there long according to my dad but it felt like years to me. My next memory is visiting my mom who was in prison and we were saying our goodbyes because my dad was getting custody of us and we were moving out of state. I just remember being confused and scared.

I didn't see my mom again until I was 18. My older sister, grandma from my dad's side and I picked her up from the airport. She immediately acted like we were just friends, it was so strange. She never really called me throughout my life, a few times in my lifetime doesn't count to me, she always chose sex and drugs over her children, and mainly she never apologized. She had been offered free plane tickets many times throughout my life to come see us but she declined year after year after year because drugs were more than my brothers, my sister and myself and there she was acting like nothing was wrong.

Now that she was there I started trying to hang out with her every Wednesday for a BBQ where she would just get drunk with her friends and I would just watch. It was entertaining because my dad sheltered me for years. She never brought up the past at all, it was weird but I didn't want to talk about it either.

When I was a kid I remember being with my uncle's now ex wife and we were watching a Dr. Phil show about Mother's Day and she looked at me teary eyed and asked if I was sad about Mother's Day. I didn't know what she meant by that at the time because I felt complete, but I now know what I was missing all along. Being a mother has brought up a lot of suppressed feelings that I almost wish would stay somewhere in my mind hidden away from me or just go away completely. I am having to deal with emotions I never felt before and it gets hard.

Courage is something that you have to dig out of yourself. It's having a fear and being willing to stare it in the face and over come it. After never having a good motherly example in my life I was so afraid to become a Mom. Thoughts kept coming to my mind like “I know it is supposed to be fulfilling and rewarding to be a mother, but why wasn't I fulfilling to my own Mother, what if it is a genetic chemical imbalance, what if I treat my children the same way and effect their lives in the same way?”

This is where courage came in for me! I was so terrified about being MY mother when I was pregnant. I kept thinking I would end up like her, distant from my baby, wanting to be away from my baby as much as I possibly could, unloving and have no motherly instincts whatsoever. It turns out it all has come naturally to me and I hope to be the best and most courageous mother Paisley could ever have! I love bonding with my daughter, I babywear most of the day so she is close to me, I co-sleep with her so I know she is safe and can be comforted at any time throughout the night. Being a Mom is the most important and wonderful thing I have ever done. I would never trade it in for any amount of drugs, fame or money. 

Henna hair dye

I use henna to dye my hair. It isn't a drastic change, but it gives a red tint in the sunlight and conditions your hair. The main reason I use henna is because it covers my grays...yep I'm 22 (almost 23, 5 more days) and I have a lot of gray hair! I use light mountain brand but soon I am switching because I want to make sure to try the best body art quality henna I can find. 

The pros: it's natural, it covers gray, it lasts months, you won't do any damage to your hair

The cons: you have to be carful not to use metal while mixing the henna because some chemical reaction can happen or something crazy, it smells like grass when you apply it, and it is messy to do. 

BLW: Lentil soup

So I made lentil soup the other day and Paisley LOVED it! I also gave her avocado because it is one of her favorite foods and its so great for her health wise. I cooked the lentils with celery, carrot, wild rice, fresh thyme, and bay leaf and just scooped out her portion so I could add the broth (it has loads of salt) to me and my husbands portion. I was nervous about giving these to her because I thought maybe there would be a choking hazard but I made them super soft and she just used her arm and hand to scoop them into her mouth. Paisley is 6 months old and this was our first dinner as a whole family....meaning the same meal! She did gag once, but if you have read the baby-led weaning book it teaches there is a difference from gagging and choking. Babies gag reflex is much closer to the front of the mouth as a safety thing.  

Lactation Cookie Recipe

I really love these cookies! My husband and brother wont try them because of the name though haha! I don't really blame them, it makes it seem like they will start lactating haha! These seem to help me with increasing my breast milk supply. You can get a lot of information from the source of the recipe: Click for source  

Ingredients: 

• 1 cup self raising wholemeal flour (if you have plain flour, add 1/2 tsp baking powder)
• 1/2 cup low fat butter (for a healthier option, use organic, virgin coconut oil instead which is super good for you!)
• 3/4 cup brown sugar (if wanting to reduce sugar, you could try just 1/2 cup)
• 2 tablespoons flaxseed meal (can be found at any local health food store or on Amazon)
• 1 egg
• 2-3 tablespoons of water (depends if you prefer moister cookies)
• 1 tablespoon vanilla (optional, for flavour)
• 1 teaspoon cinnamon (optional, for flavour)
• 1-2 tablespoons of brewers yeast (do not substitute with bakers yeast or any other yeast).
• 1/2 teaspoon salt (use himalayan salt if possible)
• 1 & 1/2 cups oats (get the thicker cut oats if you can)

Directions:

• In a large mixing bowl, cream the butter and sugar then add the egg and vanilla. Mix well.
• In a separate bowl, combine the flaxseed and water, let sit for a few minutes before adding to mix.
• Add the dry ingredients (apart from the oats and your additional ingredients) and mix well again.
• Finally, stir in the oats and your additional ingredient.
• Make the biscuits (I use a desert spoon as a rough size guide) and place them onto a lightly greased or lined baking tray. Flatten them a little with your fingers or a spatula – if you like a soft centre, don’t squish them down too much. If you like you can just make them into balls – I do this and love the soft centre!
Bake for around 10-12 minutes depending on how well cooked/crunchy you like your biscuits – I prefer them a little soft and lightly cooked.

Starting baby-led weaning

I planned on making my own baby food purées with my new food processor for Paisley when she turned 6 months. As that 6 month mark got closer I discovered Baby-led Weaning and I am so glad I did! A ton of parents have done this without knowing it had a name. Basically you skip the purées and go straight into REAL food that the baby can gum/suck and it should be finger sized....grabable? Is that a word? Haha

Spoon feeding a baby can be tough, typically it's a chore and both mom and baby don't really like it. With BLW (let's call it that from now on so I don't have to type so much haha I'm on my iPhone) your baby feeds herself/himself and the amount that they want. You can enjoy your meal with your baby!

My FAVORITE part about it is watching Paisley explore different textures and flavors. My hope is that she has a life long love of healthy foods and likes a wide variety of foods. I am hoping she won't be one of the many kids screaming "I ONLY WANT CHICKEN NUGGETS!!!!!!" But we will see :D 

BLW is going to make us (the parents) eat better because soon we will be eating the same meals! I just have to adjust Paisleys with less salt and sugar. We already eat "kind of" healthy-ish but we have fallen off the bandwagon after I delivered the baby. Example: I had 3 chocolate milkshakes in one day after I had Paisey.  

Here are some photos of our BLW adventure! Tell me about yours in the comments please :) 

Banana 

Avocado

I swear she liked it haha

Cantaloupe

 Broccoli 

Broccoli beard! 

Soon we are going to try eggs, toast, cream cheese, lentils, steamed carrots, sweet potato, yams, and much much more!