Chamomile teething rag

So I am desperate at this point....I will try anything to help Paisley with the pain of teething. She is cutting her second tooth and I feel so bad for the little babe! Someone on a Facebook group I was on suggested this idea to another mom and I wanted to try it out. Honestly Paisley wasn't too interested in it but I thought I would share just in case it helped another baby.

It was simple, I just brewed come chamomile tea in a bowl and soaked a rag in it, then I rung it out and when it wasn't so hot I gave it to Paisley to bite on.

Memorial Day Weekend in photos

Dreaming

What do babies dream
when they are fast asleep
when eyelids are aflutter
and a smile rounds their cheeks
Do they close their hands round secrets
known before their birth
before the angels touched their lips
and left them things to learn
Do they see their mother’s faces
feel a parent’s touch
sense a world of wonder
as they wiggle, stretch, wake up
What thoughts do mothers nurture
when their babies are asleep
courage to lead, strength to make
this earthly realm a holy place
By Beverly Peck

Community

Our sakurabloom group decided to do a monthly blogging challenge, which sounds awesome because I have an excuse and purpose to blog! The topic for May is "community". At first I thought I wouldn't really have anything to write about because I am the most introverted person ever. For a few years I was in a community group with my church but recently I switched churses and keep finding myself wanting to hide in my "shell"...aka my home. I personally don't like groups of people, they intimidate me. I am shy and weird around people! People will disagree a lot of the time when I say that, but I at least FEEL weird...I usually can't wait until I can get away from a group. 

I find that my community is online, I love love love the community from the sakurabloom group and my other Instagram mom friends. I love that I actually have things in common that I can talk about. A lot of my family values are the same as other mothers in the group. For example, I co sleep with my daughter who's 8 months. If I talk about co sleeping with most people, I know I will get negative or judgmental comments. It's like a breath of fresh air knowing I won't be judged for things like attachment parenting with my mom friends that's I've made these last several months.

I also love my tiny community with the few friends in person that I have. I have a super nice friend from my church that is so helpful and has the same values as me. When Paisley and I were sick she came over and held Paisley so I could shower the puke off of me...that's a friend!

I know that community is important for humans in general. There are so many good things about it! So I guess in a nutshell community for me is family time if that counts, Internet friends and single person interactions haha! It works for me :) what does community look like in your life? 

 

Protect your children!

So many children are being sexually abused right now at this very moment! I get furious when I think about it!!! I hate that I have friends and family who have been sexually abused, I hate that there are pedophiles searching the internet looking for children right now, I hate that their living in our neighborhoods, I hate that we walk among them without knowing it, I hate that I feel so helpless and all I want to do is save all of the kids! A 22 year old man in my state was just arrested for having over 200 photos and videos of children and infants being sexually abused on his computer! NOTHING makes me more angry that that kind of stuff!! Pedophiles are everywhere and parents need to wake up. It could be your pastor,  brother, neighbor, stranger, teacher, or even husband in some cases! There is a blog I subscribe to that EVERYONE needs to read and follow with her email subscription. She was married to a practicing pedophile for 40 years without knowing what he was doing. He is in jail now and she gives tips and stories from her past that should have been a red flag. We all need to protect our kids and trust our gut! Here is the blog: http://www.findingahealingplace.com

Courage

My story starts when I was about three years old. I can barely remember it, but one of my few memories was sitting on the couch in the living room, my parents were yelling at each other and I saw my mom kick my dad in the stomach. My next memory is her crying in the bathroom with the door locked and I was banging on the door screaming for her to let me in. Then I remember I was in the front yard, my mom was running with my younger brother down the street and I was crying for her to let me go with her as my dad held onto me by the sidewalk. The police came to my house and they handcuffed both of my parents, loaded us up and took us away to a foster home. I wasn't there long according to my dad but it felt like years to me. My next memory is visiting my mom who was in prison and we were saying our goodbyes because my dad was getting custody of us and we were moving out of state. I just remember being confused and scared.

I didn't see my mom again until I was 18. My older sister, grandma from my dad's side and I picked her up from the airport. She immediately acted like we were just friends, it was so strange. She never really called me throughout my life, a few times in my lifetime doesn't count to me, she always chose sex and drugs over her children, and mainly she never apologized. She had been offered free plane tickets many times throughout my life to come see us but she declined year after year after year because drugs were more than my brothers, my sister and myself and there she was acting like nothing was wrong.

Now that she was there I started trying to hang out with her every Wednesday for a BBQ where she would just get drunk with her friends and I would just watch. It was entertaining because my dad sheltered me for years. She never brought up the past at all, it was weird but I didn't want to talk about it either.

When I was a kid I remember being with my uncle's now ex wife and we were watching a Dr. Phil show about Mother's Day and she looked at me teary eyed and asked if I was sad about Mother's Day. I didn't know what she meant by that at the time because I felt complete, but I now know what I was missing all along. Being a mother has brought up a lot of suppressed feelings that I almost wish would stay somewhere in my mind hidden away from me or just go away completely. I am having to deal with emotions I never felt before and it gets hard.

Courage is something that you have to dig out of yourself. It's having a fear and being willing to stare it in the face and over come it. After never having a good motherly example in my life I was so afraid to become a Mom. Thoughts kept coming to my mind like “I know it is supposed to be fulfilling and rewarding to be a mother, but why wasn't I fulfilling to my own Mother, what if it is a genetic chemical imbalance, what if I treat my children the same way and effect their lives in the same way?”

This is where courage came in for me! I was so terrified about being MY mother when I was pregnant. I kept thinking I would end up like her, distant from my baby, wanting to be away from my baby as much as I possibly could, unloving and have no motherly instincts whatsoever. It turns out it all has come naturally to me and I hope to be the best and most courageous mother Paisley could ever have! I love bonding with my daughter, I babywear most of the day so she is close to me, I co-sleep with her so I know she is safe and can be comforted at any time throughout the night. Being a Mom is the most important and wonderful thing I have ever done. I would never trade it in for any amount of drugs, fame or money. 

Henna hair dye

I use henna to dye my hair. It isn't a drastic change, but it gives a red tint in the sunlight and conditions your hair. The main reason I use henna is because it covers my grays...yep I'm 22 (almost 23, 5 more days) and I have a lot of gray hair! I use light mountain brand but soon I am switching because I want to make sure to try the best body art quality henna I can find. 

The pros: it's natural, it covers gray, it lasts months, you won't do any damage to your hair

The cons: you have to be carful not to use metal while mixing the henna because some chemical reaction can happen or something crazy, it smells like grass when you apply it, and it is messy to do.